So first off I want to say welcome everyone to the best blog you will ever read in your entire genealogies existence. The three authors of this blog are the two lovely ladies Marisa and Lia and I, the red-hot, red-headed sensation Tyson. The purpose of this blog is for us to find the best Ice Cream experience we can in the beautiful city of Portland, Oregon. Allow me to first introduce to you to the three bloggers:
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| Spelling Bee |
Some people may describe Marisa as really stubborn, I am one of them. Marisa is a person who doesn’t embrace a lot of change. She strives to find where she is comfortable and would like to dwell in that forever if she was able to. She knows what she likes, and believes she knows what she won’t. Do not try to convince this Bi-Racial, immovable Siren otherwise on something; for she will manipulate the facts to make you look stupider then a kid with a stuttering problem at a spelling bee (Right now she is probably saying “Stupider isn’t even a word Tyson, you idiot”). So you learn, you adapt, and you tell her “ohh you won’t like this” from the beginning. What does Marisa do? Well, she shows you who is superiorly stubborn in this affiliation and confuses you more than watching Momento while drunk on shrooms. “Wait, you do like this, but….. how? Since when?” It is this sheer consistently, securely, and engraving form of tenacity and persistence that makes Marisa perfect for this venture; as well as her ardor, and passion for all things Iced and Creamed. Marisa knows what she wants! Until you think you know what she wants!
[DISCLAIMER: Marisa is a sweet and lovely gal and that description is an exaggeration of the truth only for entertainment purposes.] (Happy Marisa)
Lia
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| Lia's motto |
Where to start with this walking contradiction? Lia seems to constantly defy general logic. Lia is an adorable, little, fit 21 year old who is full of vibrant energy and enthusiasm. Issue is, rationality points out: she should actually look about 41 and be an unhealthy and cantankerous person with patience as thin as my uncle’s hair. First off, she sleeps less than an ant (ant’s sleep only 1.9 seconds a day btw, the more you know the more you grow). This would leave most in an irritable, ill-tempered state. Yet, Lia still is a bubbling sac full of endorphins and “glass half full” comments. Lia can eat twice her body weight in a day, or nothing at all in two, and yet her body weight remains the same. Maybe she randomly does some sort of exercising and/or running, but in between her status-update-an-hour pace she keeps up on FaceBook, I just don’t see how she can possibly sneak that in. She also goes tanning constantly, something if I were to do as much, I would have more melanoma then actual epidermis. Most of her contradictions might be a bit of the “self-medicated” variety from extracurricular activities. But, her constant, positive energy and shared affection for the sweet-sugary diary product we are devoting this Blog to, is an important ingredient in our quest.
[DISCLAIMER: Lia is a sweet and lovely gal and that description could not be more accurate]
Tyson
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| The worst insect of them all |
My turn! Hi, I’m 5’10,” a Red Head, I like long walks on the waterfront and am a dog person, ladies hit me up! First off to say I’m a “softy” is like saying Solja Boy’s music is “a little shitty.” No, Solja Boy’s music is a lotta shitty and I am softer than a Tempur-Pedic Mattress. I listen to R&B music constantly, I write poetry, and my feelings are the only thing more sensitive than my fair, ginger skin. And NO, I’m not gay, stop asking that please. Of the three in this blog I am the most broke and least established job wise, yet I am the one with a 5 year professional degree. Is it because the field is bad right now job-wise, am I lazy, am I uneducated on the job hunting process or all of the above; choose the most correct answer. Most correct answer is probably E, Options B and C. It’s sad that college has made me go downhill. When I was a senior in High School I was smarter, much more in shape, my life seemed to have a much more clear direction and didn’t do as much stupid shit I do now as a college graduate. My main problem is I don’t ever learn from my past mistakes. “Hey Tyson, just because a girl will go out with you and kiss you does not mean she will become your girlfriend.” “What’s that? You don’t want to ‘put a label on anything’ right now, uhh ok, I guess that’s cool.” “Hey Tyson, even though people ‘let you’ do nice things for them, does not mean you should trust them to return the favor.” “Hey! My car broke down can you-Oh, Jersey Shore is on? Well I just thought I give you so many-[CLICK]” “Hey Tyson, when you have pimples, dry skin or a scar on your face, don’t pick at it!” “Naw, I like gross looking scabs on my face!” “Hey Tyson, you should slow down on the shots.” “No, my bed sheets need to be washed so puking on them will give me a reason to do that!” My three loves in life are Meagan Good, Keri Hilson and Chocolate Ice Cream (wow, what a wigger!); obviously the latter being the only obtainable passion of mine on the list. Leading to my participation in this blog!
The Mission
As stated in the opening paragraph. Our mission is to find the best Ice Cream Experience in Portland, Oregon. We have all chosen ways to direct this search for us individually. Marisa wishes to find the best Cherry infused Ice Cream, Lia wishes to find the chunkiest Chocolate Ice Cream and I wish to find the best/most "Chocolaty" Ice Cream. Now, some of you who know about this ‘other blog’ might say, “Ummm hey freckly fraud, you stole the Taco-Walko idea!” I respond with “You’re DAMN right!” My friend’s Krystal and Andreas did inspire this blog with their lovely blog on the search for the best Tacos in the city. But, some of life’s best things in life are free [stolen]. I mean looking at music, without covers we never would have Jimi Hendrix’s “All Along the Watch Tower”, Aretha Franklin’s “Respect”, Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog”, Bob Marley’s “Redemption Song”, Black Eyed Peas “Just Can’t Get Enough” (Oooppps!). We will be testing out all forms of Ice Cream experiments throughout the city. Small Ice Cream Parlors, Large corporations, Food Carts, Restaurants, everything must be tried and tested!
The Rules:
The rules are simple:
- It must be established before ordering this will be part of the Ice Creaming Orgasims Experiment
- Two of the Three bloggers must be present and order something each
- If one of the bloggers is not present they must have been invited to join and chose not to join on their own will (Not two of the three happen to be out and didn't give the third a chance to partake)
- Anything with Ice Cream is accepted
- Places that offer non-ice cream desserts can be critiqued also and although not directly related to our goal is a necessary practice
Stay Tuned for our first official entry soon!
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